Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Labor Of Love

Hello everyone! I am a mother of 3 children now! Wow! I love it! I am so glad baby Coast is finally here! I want to use this post to explain in detail my labor and delivery story! So here it goes:

After waiting many weeks and hoping my body would go into labor on its own, my midwives suggested that I be induced. I had a c-section with the twins, so with this birth I wanted to try for a VBAC or vaginal birth after cesarian. I really did not want another c-section and wanted to vaginally birth baby Coast. The big concern with VBACs is uterine rupture. This is when the scar from the c-section comes apart during labor. There is great risk of great harm and even death to the mother and baby. This risk of uterine rupture, however, is very low. Being induced using pitocin increases the risk of uterine rupture, which is why I was trying to avoid it, but I was almost 42 weeks so the baby needed to come out! Plus I felt very safe being at a hospital where they would be closely monitoring me and the baby.

So Friday, January 20th I planned to go to the hospital Saturday morning around 11 and be induced. I told all my family and announced it on Facebook ha ha. Then I got a call Friday night form my mom saying she was driving out the next morning to come be with me and help me out. I was in total shock! She already come for a week! I was so incredibly happy though! It meant so much to me that she was coming out and I knew it wasn't easy for her. So with my mom coming and knowing I was finally gonna meet my baby soon, we were pumped and excited!

The next morning we were all ready to go and then I couldn't do it. I couldn't walk out the door and go to the hospital! I felt terrible and just had a really bad feeling about going in that morning. I needed more time. I told my midwife I would think about it more and let her know what I decided. After thinking about it a lot, I finally felt at peace about waiting until Sunday morning to be induced. So that was that! Plans were made to go to the hospital at 7 a.m. and be induced! And this time I really meant it!

So on Sunday, January 22nd Hayden and I left around 6:45 a.m. to drive to the American Fork Hospital. My mom was there to watch the kids until she dropped them off with the babysitters. We all knew my labor was going to be a long process so there was no rush to have her there right away. Hayden and I got all checked in and then waited for my midwife to get there. She checked me and I was barely dilated to 1 cm and about 60% effaced! I couldn't believe it! I was 42 weeks after all. We started the pitocin at 9:40 a.m. They start off very slow and slowly and steadily increase the amount every 30 minutes. Baby Coast was showing distress around noon and talk of a c-section started so Hayden told my mom to come and she got there around 1. My contractions started to get strong and painful around 3 pm. Around 4:30 pm my midwife checked me and I was 1.5 cm dilated! I could not believe it. I was so sad and discouraged. I had put in 7 hours and was having terrible contractions and hadn't progressed hardly at all!

They decided to put in a foley bulb. This is when they insert a catheter up into the cervix and inflate the end with water to about 3 cm to help dilate you. So they did this and holy crap! My contractions got more intense, more painful, and longer, which means my rest time between them got shorter! I honestly thought I was gonna die! I was shaking, crying, and passing out from the pain. I had really wanted to do a natural birth (which most of you know since I told everyone lol) but at that point everyone was telling me to get an epidural because I still had so much further to go. They were worried I wouldn't be able to have the vaginal birth I wanted without it. I finally agreed, but made them take out the foley bulb first. There was no way I was going to be able to to hold still with all the pain I was in. So they took it in and around 5:30 p.m. I had the epidural. OH. MY. GOODNESS. All I can say is that after that it was HEAVEN!!! The epidural made the experience amazing! I could relax, be at peace, enjoy life, get some rest, talk with my mom and Hayden, etc, the list goes on and on. After being in so much pain and then getting the epidural I can't believe I ever wanted a natural birth!! But I know all labor is different for women and all the benefits and risks and everything. Trust me, I know. I did tons of research! But my body was not progressing and I honestly could not go on without one. So that was that.

So once the epidural took effect, the foley bulb went back in, seeing as I was still at 1.5 cm!! I can't remember how long it took, maybe 2 hours, but the bulb did its job and got me dilated to 4 cm. Wohoo!! I felt good about that and though for sure my body would pick it up and get things going. They broke my water, hoping to get more contractions and speed things up, and put an internal monitor in my uterus. Around midnight my midwife checked me and I was dilated 4.5 cm. I could not believe it. I was crushed! I was so sad and disappointed. I could not believe how stubborn and slow my body was being! The bad thing was that Coast was not doing too good. He was in distress so they decided to take me off pitocin for about an hour to give him a break and then would start again, very slowly.

So I had a break for an hour and then at 1:30 a.m. we started up the contractions again. It was a delicate balance because I needed to have good strong contractions to have any affect on my cervix, but they couldn't be too strong and hard because of the risk for uterine rupture. So I was pretty frustrated. I was willing to take things really slow and be in labor for days, but we could only do so much if baby Coast wasn't handling the contractions well. After the midwife left I had a breakdown. I was just so exhausted with so many emotions and physically exhausted. I hadn't eaten anything or gotten sleep. My dream of a vaginal birth was quickly and painfully slipping away and I had no control over it. I cried and cried and tried to make sense of it all. I pleaded with Heavenly Father. Hayden gave me a blessing. Then I changed my attitude. Instead of trying to get what I wanted, I decided to just give in and accept whatever was going to happen. If I was to have a c-section then I would be ok with it. I made peace with it. I didn't want to be bitter or angry toward Heavenly Father. I knew He loved me so I knew everything would be ok, even if I didn't get my VBAC. I write these sentences like it was nothing, but coming to that point was one of the hardest and most humbling things I have ever been through.

Around 3 a.m. my midwife came in and checked me and said she couldn't find my cervix and that she thought I was complete. I didn't understand what she meant and she explained that she though I was ready to push! She couldn't even believe it so she asked the nurse to check me and make sure she was right. The nurse then checked me and sure enough she said I was completely dilated to 10 cm! I was in total shock!! I could not believe it! I was so ecstatically happy! I had given in and surrendered to having a c-section. We were all elated. They gave my body an hour to push baby Coast down on its own and then came in at 4 a.m. so I could start the active pushing. That hour I was just in shock and disbelief. I know Heavenly Father gave me a tender mercy. It was my miracle.

Around 4 a.m. I started pushing and at 4:48 Coast was born!! When he popped out it was the best feeling in the world!! They placed him on me and I was so happy! I was overcome with emotion. We were all crying. Coast cried almost immediately. He had lots of dark hair, which I was and am so happy about! I could tell he was a little guy, which was later confirmed when they measured and weighed him. He was 6 pounds 9 ounces and 18 inches long! It was the hardest and most wonderful experience of my life!!

I was bleeding extremely heavily and it was discovered I tore a ton on the inside! The doctor had to come in and they spent over 30 minutes stitching me up! It was quite the process and recovering has been slow and painful but it was all worth it to have my vaginal birth!! I am so in love with this baby! He is so cute! He sleeps alllll the time and is a champ at nursing. Nursing one baby is great!! I know Heavenly Father truly blessed me. I am so thankful for the experience and love being a mom to 3! I love all my babies! Pictures to come soon!